It seems like every day this week has had its own unique climate. Today, it was partly cloudy with an unexpectedly cold wind that has me chilled to the bone. Yesterday it rained all day without drawing a breath. The day before it was a gorgeous warm day that extended into an evening that didn’t even require me to light the fire. Who knows what tomorrow will hold? The weather is not the only thing that has had its ups and downs this week, although I will claim more wins than losses – hopefully today being Friday, this is not too presumptuous :).
I have a couple of goal setting friends with whom I do a twice monthly check-in to see how the month’s goals are going. At the mid-month check in, I couldn’t even remember what goals I had set at the end of April for May, which is never a good sign – and when I did check, I discovered to my disappointment that I either hadn’t been able to achieve the goal (attend Grassroots Writers Gathering) or that I had set my goal too low and then not even achieved that (a goal of 1000 words a week on my book). I won’t even talk about the poorly formed goals that floated under the category if I can afford it/have time/have the inclination. I was just bouncing on the springboard of disappointment, ready to dive into the plunge pool of depression, when my friend said – don’t worry Sara, you’ve still got the rest of the month to achieve your goals!
Huh. Well. So I sat down and re-did my goals. I decided that 1000 words was a pathetic goal, and that instead I wanted to write the first draft of a chapter a week (about 3000 words). I also decided that even though I had missed the Grassroots Writers, I was going to learn from my mistakes and plan my next writing event more thoroughly. So, I booked and paid for the events and workshop I wanted to attend at the Bellingen Writers Festival in a couple of weeks time, got the Bear on board, booked accomodation and even arranged childcare. Sorted.
By Monday, with the Taurus new moon, I knew that I was back, baby :). By Thursday I had finished the draft of an entire chapter, just by working on it for 30 minutes each morning. I did my very first school newsletter (a new responsibility), a poem wrote itself and then managed to get by far the most likes I have ever received for a post – and in the middle of all of that, the Bear and I even liked each other. For a day. You can’t win them all, right?
There were lots of other little serendipities, too random to mention here, but they all contributed to that feeling of being in the flow. I love the flow. I think of being in the flow as gliding along in the slipstream. Everything is easy, smooth and effortless, especially compared to the inevitable times when you slip out of the slipstream and into turbulence. Buffeted and bruised, you know things aren’t going right, but damned if you know how to get back. After a while (hours, days, weeks or years depending upon your tolerance for misery), you have a good look at yourself, make some changes, tweak the settings…and bingo – you’re back. When I say have a good look at yourself, what I really mean is, nobody can push you out of the flow except you – and nobody else can you get you back there either.
So, how do you know you’re in the flow? And when you’re not, how do you get back?
Best Short Read
Danielle La Porte is an interesting woman. She is super ambitious in every part of her life, it seems – and sometimes ambition applied to spirituality is kind of disconcerting, or at least it is to me. Maybe if I was American I would resonate with it more :). Still, her book, The Desire Map, is on my to read list, and she introduced me to Paolo Nutini and Spotify, so it seems I owe her a debt of gratitude :) Also, she has a blog which produces some absolute gems, and this post is one of them:
What to do after you have a breakthrough
(Your’re going to shrink after you expand, so, listen closely)
by Danielle La Porte.
Be prepared for some constriction.
This is really, really important:
Expect to fall back — and be incredibly compassionate when the inevitable slip happens. This is the pattern of really big change: Big expansion. Slight constriction. Return to expansion. Micro constriction. Back to expansion — full, fuller, fullest. Expanded.
You’re learning how to do the new you. You’re reacclimatizing to truth and joy and power. You’ll forget for a minute that you’re more powerful than you have ever been. And you’ll dip into an old pattern or habit. You’ll get all jangled and unnerved by the shit you “thought” you just surmounted. That’s cool. You’re on track. You’re re-confirming your expansion. You may be testing yourself. You may even be trying to sabotage yourself. It’s okay, Love. Because you can step back into your new, bigger size WAY more easily than before. Powering up is getting easier. Can you feel it?
To read the rest of this article (well worth it) click here.
This was on Elizabeth Gilbert’s Facebook page this week:
Ahhh…there is so much grace in this statement!
I think we get stuck sometimes in this crazy belief that — in order to achieve anything of value in life — we must become fearless.
I’m very much against that word: FEARLESS.
I don’t believe in it, and I certainly don’t strive for it.
The few genuinely “fearless” people I’ve ever met in my life were all totally freaking insane. And all of them felt extremely dangerous to be around. And most of them were sixteen-year-old boys, or three-year-old children. And if they weren’t toddlers or teenagers, they were full-on fanatics or sociopaths, with sometthing vital and human and warm missing from their eyes. (Although, to be fair, as a friend of mine with several children once pointed out to me: “Behavior-wise, it’s difficult to tell a toddler from a sociopath.”)
What I’m saying is this: I am riddled with fears.
I’ve always been a shaky person, ever since childhood. (It took my poor mother years to teach me how to swim, because for me, “swimming” meant “clinging to your mother’s neck and howling in mortal terror.”) The world makes me terribly anxious. (Or maybe I make IT anxious.) I grind my teeth at night so hard that I just cracked a perfectly good molar a few months ago: Even in sleep, I am not relieved of my fears!
There is no fear you could possibly imagine that I have not experienced — especially in regard to creativity.
Basically, my body is made out of 60% water, and 19% fear.
The only reason I have ever been able to create anything, is because the remainder of my body is made out of CURIOSITY.
That’s right: I’m composed of 60% water, 19% fear, and 21% curiosity.
Curiosity always wins by a nose!
Thus, creativity has a chance to thrive within me, despite my many terrors.
So that’s my prayer for you all — not that you will become fearless, but that you will always be SLIGHTLY more curious about the world than you are frightened of it.
Because the victory of curiosity is the fertile field where exploration, invention, transformation and creation will all begin to grow.
You are oceanic
All she wanted
was to find a place to stretch her bones
A place to lengthen her smiles
and spread her hair
A place where her legs could walk
without cutting and bruising
A place unchained
She was born out of the ocean breath.
I reminded her;
“Stop pouring so much of yourself
into hearts that have no rooms for themselves
Do not thin yourself
You do not bring the ocean to a river.
So. This is a wordy post. I keep thinking that I should be putting in more pictures or music or videos – but no. Just more words – or words on top of pictures…or words however they come. I blame the Sun, Mercury and Mars in Gemini, those talkative twins – and I’m as happy as anything, because this is a perfect time to write :). Anyway, I can’t say this word, but I love it completely <3.
This is my idea of love <3.
Also…the Bear sent it to me.
He knows that it’s my idea of love.
And…sometimes it’s his idea of love too.
Although in his idea of love,
I’m naked :)
As a prayer to love today,
may we continue to love each other
even when our ideas of love
Because ideas about love
have nothing to do with Love.
Love is knowing the other is different,
yet knowing we are the same
and not minding one little bit
when the two don’t match.
There you go, my dear friends, all the lovely people who read my words and make me so happy with your likes and comments, which I just see as little rays of love shot my way. Of course, this weekly post is my ray of love to you – I hope it lands where you need it most