I have been blogging for one year.
I have been writing regularly and purposefully for one year.
How am I changed by this?
What have I learned?
That I like short, pithy sentences? That I like the word pithy?
Be serious! This is important!
I know that. This has been one of the most important 12 months of my life, really and truly, and I’ll tell you why: I finally started to live my life the way that I wanted to, the way that I needed to.
Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
~ Howard Thurman
Now maybe there are people out there that have always known what they are supposed to be doing, who just go ahead and get on with it. No second guessing their purpose, no trying to squeeze it into a safe box, no laziness or justification or blaming. These people listen to their guidance, they have faith, they go with the flow, they are authentic, they are ON TARGET.
Friends, for most of my life, that has not been me.
A friend of mine, Lisa Carr, a friend, let me tell you, that I only know through blogging (and later facebook), describes our time here as going to Earth School. I like this description very much, because it puts our time here in perspective: I am 37 years old. In the last 12 months, I think I finally grew up. I took responsibility for my own life. I looked at my frustration, at my complaining, at my resistance to what is, and I said to myself: this is your Life, what are you going to do with it? What do you like to do, what do you need to be fulfilled, to be happy, to be authentic, to be fully and awesomely you?
Well, firstly, I said to myself, a little firmly, because I need a firm hand, I need to write.
Okay. You need to write. What, creatively or for a living?
Both. Any and all of it.
Well, that’s do-able. Enroll in a couple of courses and start a blog why don’t you?
So I did.
Okay, so I am condensing a three month conversation into one of those short, pithy sentences I love, but you get the picture. Now what?
I need my own space. I am so desperate for my own space, I am nearly mad from it.
Your own space. What do you want to use this space for?
I want a sacred space, a space that is just mine, where I can do yoga and meditate and just be me.
Voila! Events unfolded in such a way that I had my own sacred space, for the first time since I…well, ever.
Okay, so you are writing, studying and you have your own space. What now?
I want to improve my yoga practice. I want to be more disciplined in my practice, I want to be stronger, more flexible and braver.
Voila! A chance encounter with Kara-Leah Grant and her book 40 Days of Yoga led me into…40 Days of Yoga. Using writing, my new space and the 40 days practice, I created a daily yoga practice for myself – and went on a voyage of self discovery. I learnt things about myself that I didn’t know, and emerged a more authentic, disciplined version of myself.
I felt like I was on a bit of a roll, now. The world was opening up for me: I had some work come my way that used my new skills, I expanded my sacred space to include a bed and an office, and work finally began on our long awaited house extensions. My youngest child went to school, giving me the gifts of time and solitude. I started going to a monthly writer’s group and working on my creative writing skills. When doubt, guilt, anxiety and worry set in, I embarked on 40 days of writing. I am still writing every day.
Finally, I am creating and crafting my world, deliberately and consciously. I pay attention, I am grateful, I work with what I have, I am patient. I wait for things to unfold, rather than taking matters into my own hands (think of a bud opening in its own time compared to a blundering idiot attempting to open each petal one by one. Yep. That blundering idiot was me.)
Perfect I am not. I still get worried, anxious and guilty. I still lose focus, become distracted and unmotivated. I still get impatient, irritated and angry. But not for long. I know myself so much better this year, now that I am all grown up, and I am less and less likely to let my ‘little’ me call the shots. Anyway, it doesn’t feel good.
And this miraculous 12 months started with blogging. Writing cleared a space in my mind, quietened my mind chatter and enabled action.
Lastly, I want to thank you, my readers. I write firstly for myself, but I also write in the hope that my words can make a difference. This year you have supported me, a beautiful few have become my friends, and that has held me and sustained me.