Amidst the Mundanity and Madness of Motherhood…

Today, in the midst of the Venus Transit, still vibing off the Partial Lunar Eclipse, and sitting within the Neptune Retrograde, I am writing my first blog post: on of all things, a waking dream or vision that came to me a few days ago.

Three or four nights ago after 10pm, my husband and children were asleep, and the silence was so blissful, I just sat in it for a while, absorbing it into my cells. Eyes closed, I just breathed it in, along with the oxygen. Hmmm. Do you think I am starved for silence?

A picture emerged behind my lids of a figure in a maroon cloak, heavily hooded, with golden occult symbols printed upon it. There was a certain power about the figure, a mystery even. Then she threw her head back, looked at me and smiled – and I knew her. The mysterious figure was my daughter, but all grown up. She had light brown curls, just like her father, a baby on her hip, and she was so…sunny. She looked so joyful and spirited…but wearing a witches cloak. Those who know me will not be surprised – the occult runs deep within our family.

OK I thought, I am obviously channeling something – what about my son? I closed my eyes and immediately I saw what looked like red, black and white squares on a chessboard, with numbers and geometrical designs printed upon them, appearing and disappearing.  Then I saw my son all grown up. He was standing, dressed in a button-up vest, dress shirt and pants and a teacher’s pointer in his hand. He looked like a university professor.

Four days later I can still see the images as clear as anything, and my heart swells with gratitude at this gift. To be able to see a vision of my children as adults is so reassuring! Thank Goddess for that, all going well, my children are going to survive their childhood, and grow up into happy, functional adults! I think every parent has a fear of something happening to their children, and I am no different.

There is something else too – amidst the mundanity and madness of motherhood is a vision that keeps me sane – I am raising my children to be adults for the future. We chose each other because they need the kind of mothering that I am able to provide, and I chose them because I need to learn how to mother  in the way that is best for them. My mother always said that we are adults for much longer than we are children – meaning that she was raising her children to be happy functional adults and that end result was ever-present in the day-to-day upbringing of her children (my brother and I). It is no good bringing up our children to be good children, because that will pass before we know it.

So that’s what’s cooking in my heart today.

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