Sometimes you hear a voice through the door calling you. This turning toward what you deeply love saves you ~ Rumi
Do you ever get the feeling of the penny dropping, of blocks falling into place, tetris style? Of understanding, long withheld of the meaning of things, a pattern revealed?
I heard the click of blocks moving into place this week when I got my very first freelancing job 🙂 A paying job… click… as a research assistant… click…doing a local project on complementary therapists…click...working from home…click. It’s a small project to be sure, but it’s a start. And it is so perfect for me right now.
More than that, it’s a sign, confirmation that I am moving in the right direction, and that the work that I have done in the past has not been a waste of time. Its all very well to sit back in the armchair of faith, but if you have to sit there too long, your arse can get very sore 🙂
I am starting to make sense of the things that I have done before, and how they have led me to where I am now. In my heart, I know that nothing we ever do is wasted, but my mind wasn’t as convinced. If something doesn’t work out like I had planned, I am very tempted to throw my hands in the air and say – what a waste of my time! In fact, I was really starting to wonder if I had made some substantial errors of judgement. Like spending 6 years studying Nutrition and Homeopathy and not finishing it. Like spending the last 5 years involved in community projects that in my more jaundiced moments didn’t seem to lead anywhere or make any noticeable difference to anyone.
I have never felt bad about not finishing my study – I just knew I didn’t need to. The Bear, who finishes absolutely everything that he starts as a matter of principle, thinks it is disgraceful (and lazy and undisciplined as well). I can’t help it; once I am finished with something I can’t go back to it. But I still have the knowledge! And once you have learnt something, your brain is never the same afterwards. It is stretched, and will never go back to it’s original dimensions.
I have a natural understanding of Homeopathy having grown up with it, which was probably not enhanced by studying it. Studying Nutrition really did have a big effect upon me however, and it changed the way I look at and think about food, forever. Studying food led me to work at Health Food shops, which I adore. Studying Homeopathy led me to work for my mother for 4 years as her receptionist/office manger/clinic assistant.
Later on, when I had little children, I became involved in the Local Food movement, an interest that had been triggered by working here, by my knowledge of food, by friends that I had made and reinforced by my rural, self-sufficient up-bringing. Being a part of the local food movement forged new links and networks within my community, which led in turn to setting up and running a community food market for 18 months. While running the market, I created more networks, wrote articles for the local papers, learned about marketing and promotion and even a little about event management :). With the help of a web designer we created a community website for which I wrote much of the copy.
Up until this second, I had actually thought that the desire to study Media and Communications had come to me out of the blue, but as I write this, it becomes very clear that it was in fact a natural progression, perhaps helped along by a bolt of inspiration. It was hardly a radical departure though 🙂 I guess this is why I write – if I don’t, I can’t understand a thing.
This writing-studying-researching Me feels so right and comfortable. It feels a better fit than all the other hats I have worn over the years – but there has to be some reward for getting old, right? That wonderful truth, when you find something you love to do and then do it, the Universe will support you. Why? Because the world needs people who are happy, joyful and productive. People like that are less likely to start wars (big or little) and commit crimes – don’t you think?