Day 8 of 40 days of yoga.
Yoga helped me in two tricky situations today.
You know that difficult situation I was talking about yesterday? Well, I decided to take my own advice and follow my passion and not this obligation that was making me feel angry, resentful and overwhelmed.
Clarification: this obligation was not what was making me feel all those things – I was making me feel all those things because of my history of over-giving in community work, resulting in a condition I like to call community-burnout. Still, however it was working, I was generating all of these uncomfortable feelings around this activity, and it was killing all the joy and interest in something that is actually quite important to me.
So. I notified them this morning that I would be resigning from the executive positions that I had somehow gotten myself elected to, and then attended the scheduled meeting to face the music.
Centred, grounded, breathing, present. Breathe. Am I doing the right thing, is this selfish? Breathe. Calm, confident. Breathe. They will be angry with me and think that I don’t care or that I am lazy. Breathe. Strong, engaged, compassionate. Breathe. Take responsibility, own the problem, make an action. Breathe.
Resistance. Pause. Breath. Space. Movement. Resistance.
I didn’t get a chance to do yoga until 7:30 at night what with being out all day, a demand for an afternoon backyard cricket game and a late dinner. The Fairy Queen was super-tired; both the kids were. It had been another really hot day, over 38°C, and everyone was exhausted. Maybe she would fall asleep while I was at the cottage?
I went and did a summer yoga sequence, by candle light with music. Yum. Best part of the day, by far :).
The Fairy Queen came and fetched me by torchlight to put her to bed, immediately throwing a huge, screaming tantrum when I told her it was too late for a story. Meh.
And my serenity is destroyed just like that? Breathe. Bear, you’re as bad as she is. Be quiet!! Breathe. Stay calm, stay focused, don’t give in. Breathe. Ok, it’s winding down now. Breathe. She’s in bed, asleep. Breathe.
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