Today, my car was repaired for the second time this week. I can now get into it via the driver’s side door, rather than through the lift up rear door, over the back seat and squeezing in between the two front seats, and I can now get out of the car via the same driver’s door rather than out the back passenger window. So that’s nice. The back window is not yet repaired, but will be on Monday. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out part I and part II of my car (mis)adventures this past fortnight. Hilarious.
An interesting encounter: when I pay for the car, I ask where it is. There’s been a huge storm pass by with torrential rain, and I’m hoping that it’s undercover because my back window isn’t fixed yet. It is under cover, and the man at the front desk shows me where it is. As he does so, a look of concern crosses his face, and he turns to me and says, you’ll have to reverse it out – do you need some help? I can’t help it – I glare at him and say, if I can’t reverse my car out of there, then I really shouldn’t be driving at all, don’t you think? He seems a bit taken aback, and I wonder if I was too rude – but honestly! What century are we in? Tsk.
Anyway, I’m sitting on my back verandah early this morning, 5:30 or so, cup of tea in hand, watching the mist lift off the mountains. I’m thinking to myself that something feels different this morning, somehow. And then I realise what it is. It’s me. I feel different. I feel hopeful and happy, which is the opposite of what I have been feeling. A light at the end of the tunnel, perhaps?
Things seem to be changing. My car got fixed, for starters. I finally got to the hairdresser and beautician after two weeks of immobilisation – this may not seem much, but when you have as much hair as I do, a two week delay on cutting and waxing can really mess with a woman. Lastly, I have 24 whole, beautiful hours to myself because the Bear and the children are at a school camp. I only feel a teeny bit guilty for not going (I had to tackle the full blown mother guilt and tie her to a chair in the basement so that I could enjoy this time and use it for writing, which is what I want and need to do). I finally get that I am not failing or being punished – it’s just a process, that’s all.
So, here I am, and here you are. Let us begin!
Best Short Read
Goddamn! This was the first thing I read this morning. It helped me :). I love Tosha Silver, and I’ve spoken many times about how her book Outrageous Openness is one of my favourites. Here is an example of her grounded spirituality, which this Practical Mystic loves!
ON PARABDHA KARMA
“That old New Age cant about how every ache and pain bring a reflection of some unprocessed flaw of yours can be so damaging.”
–Karen Weichardt Nyere
When Karen wrote this today, it struck SUCH a chord. So I can’t help but add. A dark legacy of the ‘manifestation movement’ is some people still erroneously think that EVERY single freakin’ thing that happens we ‘attract’. That if something difficult comes, we must be thinking or acting ‘wrong’. And that if you do ENOUGH prayers and take enough workshops, you get to some bizarro Disneyland where nothing ‘bad’ ever occurs. Then they blame themselves when difficulties come…or even judge others. It’s a tragic disconnect.
Because HERE’S the missing piece. Parabdha karmas are the personal karmas absolutely anyone goes through. This earth is a Vale of Karma. Even the great saint Ramakrishna got throat cancer. Hell, look at Jesus Himself! He didn’t exactly die drinking margaritas and sunning in the Bahamas. The deal is how you handle and bless your parabdha karma, NOT how do you avoid it.
Because of that limited vision, if someone gets sick, or is raped, or harmed, someone with a twisted view of Law of Attraction might say, “Oh, she created that. But I’m different. I’m safe!” Or if there’s an injury, “What did YOU do to attract that? You seem so evolved!”
But in fact karma, Parabdha karma, is mysterious, buried in the sands of ancient past lives. It helps explain why there’s such seemingly inequitable and random suffering in this world.
Yes, how we think and act does affect things. Yes, Law of Attraction is a part of Life, but… SO is the Law of Parabdha Karma! And the lesson is just to let go and BLESS it all, even the most inscrutable.
Not to judge yourself or others when a challenge comes.
Honestly this belief that all difficulties come from doing ‘wrong’ is one of the most unfortunate and hurtful misunderstandings that the New Age world has ever hatched. Even if unintentional, it has caused endless guilt and suffering for so many. Absolutely crazy-town.
It’s something I write about quite a bit in “Outrageous Openness.” So let me do my small part here to help shed some light :))
Much like the work we do on ourselves, creating and maintaining a warm, welcoming and loving home is work that doesn’t just benefit ourselves – it benefits the world. As Chogyam Trungpa says, we can’t fix the world if we can’t even do our own dishes.
With just a little bit of effort every day, we can make our house into a home that restores our vitality so that we can have enough energy to go out into the world and do what needs to be done.
Do you see?
Image from the Elephant Journal
I haven’t shared a song or an artist for a while – not because I haven’t been listening to music (I’m always listening to music!) – but because nothing had really leaped out at me to share. I came across this beautiful song the other day though, and I thought I would share it with you. It is a powerful prayer or mantra for self healing:
WHEN THE HEART
When the heart
Is cut or cracked or broken,
Do not clutch it;
Let the wound lie open.
Let the wind
From the good old sea blow in
To bathe the wound with salt,
And let it sting.
Let a stray dog lick it,
Let a bird lean in the hole and sing
A simple song like a tiny bell,
And let it ring.
Saturn, that wise and somewhat cranky astrological patriarch, has been in Scorpio since October 2012 and is preparing to move into Sagittarius on December 23rd. Before it goes though, it wants to make very sure that we have learned and understood all of our lessons on all things Scorpio from the last 2 1/2 years – which is the reason that all of the things that we thought we’d already done have come back for a second look. For me, this Saturn transit has been very powerful indeed – I suddenly became very serious about my spiritual life and writing, I became very fussy about who and what I spent my energy capital on, and stepped back from many of my community commitments to focus on my personal growth. I have also had major relationship changes, had both of my children go to school, and returned to the workforce for the first time since I became pregnant with my youngest child. It has been a liberating time to say the least, although not without its difficulties.
Over the past few weeks though, things have been going pear shaped. Relationship issues have re-surfaced, as well as lessons around control and acceptance, finances and job security. How well have you learned about these things, Saturn seemed to ask. I read this illuminating article on Saturn in Scorpio, and some things jumped out at me:
We might aim to control our behavior and moods, preferring to give off an image of calm, cool, and collected. We can struggle with revealing our dependencies and vulnerabilities with this position of Saturn.
An image which was somewhat damaged when I deadlocked my car with my daughter and I inside it recently. Saturn says: Guess what? You’re not always cool, calm and collected. Sometimes you lose your shit and behave in a completely non-rational way. Deal with it.
Fears of rejection, of giving up control, and of sharing ourselves are things we are likely to explore or face now. On a personal level, circumstances are such that how we deal with crisis, intense moments, and feeling powerless or helpless comes up for inspection.
Yes, yes and yes. And then this:
Delays and little but irksome problems might be experienced. Things break down, our needs often go unmet by others, we often feel misunderstood and even left out, we tend to find others harsh and unsympathetic (although this is often a perception thing – we, in fact, may be lacking a sense of humor), and we often feel burdened or put upon.
This last paragraph really just describes my last month to a tee. Sense of humour? Gone. Harsh and unsympathetic? You better believe it. Burdened and put upon? Of course, poor me.
I think it’s fairly safe to say that Saturn in Scorpio is an internally focused time. There will have been lessons around sex, intimacy, death, taboo, deep spiritual work, commitment, discipline and integrity. The question can you walk your talk? will have been asked again and again.
Of course, the next question is, what will Saturn in Sagittarius bring? Something vastly different no doubt :).
What are some Saturn in Scorpio themes that have emerged in your life over the past 2 1/2 years? Are you being squeezed?
Isn’t that just wonderful? Let us go lightly into the weekend, my darlings…enjoy.