Have you ever thought this?
The more I try to plan, control, direct and influence my life and those of others around me, the worse everything gets. Sometimes I think I should just give up and just let everything go…
I can tell you that I was the original white knuckled control freak. I actually thought, in my childlike naivete/arrogance, that it was solely through my own efforts that life happened to me. After a few years of regular bouts of frustration, failure and despair (okay, it may have been more like 30 odd years. Some people are slow learners.) I started playing around with trusting the process, allowing and surrendering to the flow of life. Everyday, repeatedly, I would ask myself ‘what if this is perfect?’ And just for that moment, I would take my hands off the steering wheel and see what happened. Guess what? That steering wheel I was gripping so hard was just one of those back seat steering wheels you give your toddler so that they feel like they are helping…
This is what you must know, deep within your heart: The Universe conspires to bring you your very best life. Your job is to ask for help, listen to the answer and then act (or not) as the case may be. Our tendency is to try to plan, control, direct and influence the flow of life, with at best frustrating results and at worst disaster. Here’s the thing: we just don’t have enough information to run the show. It is much like asking a wave to coordinate the ocean.
Imagine, just for a moment, the complex intricacies of even the simplest task. Just getting to work in the morning depends upon countless interactions that have nothing to do with you and which you have no control over whatsoever. If today, the kids are sick, the bus is late, the traffic is banked up or your car won’t start, try not freaking out. Don’t go there. Imagine for one moment, that whatever is happening is perfect. Yes, perfect in ways that you have yet to understand. Try, for just this moment, saying to yourself, ‘yes, this is happening to me right now. What if this is actually perfect?’ And then just go with it. Whatever is happening, just go with it.
Just to help the message sink in, here’s a little story that I often think of when I am frustrated or worried about an apparent delay/obstacle/difficulty:
The head of a company survived 9/11 because
His son started kindergarten.
Another fellow was alive because it was
His turn to bring donuts.
One woman was late because her
Alarm clock didn’t go off in time.
One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike
Because of an auto accident.
One of them
Missed his bus.
One spilled food on her clothes and had to take
Time to change.
Car wouldn’t start.
Get a taxi.
The one that struck me was the man
Who put on a new pair of shoes that morning,
Took the various means to get to work but before.
He got there, he developed a blister on his foot.
He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.
That is why he is alive today..
Now when I am
Stuck in traffic,
Miss an elevator,
Turn back to answer a ringing telephone…
All the little things that annoy me,
I think to myself,
This is exactly where
I’m meant to be
At this very moment