The Cure for Restlessness

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From Raising Ecstasy.

So, I’m kind of in the thick of it at the moment with two assignments due next week, but I just wanted to pop in and say hi πŸ™‚ Actually, I didn’t know that I wanted to do that until I was kicked out of bed even earlier than normal, with a feeling that before I get stuck into my assignment, I should come here first. Even though it’s cold, nay freezing, in my dear little cottage office, here I am πŸ™‚

There’s nothing going on, and everything going on, in that odd way that life has, of appearing calm on the surface and bubbling away underneath. We are all back home after the kids and I were away for a couple of weeks house sitting for my parents. I wrote last week about how I was wrestling with restlessness, and how that tussle has been a lifelong tension between stability and freedom. At heart, with four planets in Taurus and two in Cancer, stability and the home are like core values to me. My house, my place, my roots have quite extraordinary meaning and power in my life. As a mother, I want to give the gift of stability and rootedness to my children, as that was something I really appreciated when I was a child. I loved that I was able to attend one primary school and one highschool, and be with my friends to the end of childhood. That continuity and stability provided structure and certainty when adolescence was the opposite.

But what of this restlessness then? From where does it come from, and what should I do with it? My mother sent me this message from Singapore when she read last week’s post:

I understand that restless you spoke of in your blog, it’s good, it keeps you stretching your life, your consciousness and Being so as you don’t get lost here, this dimension absorbs you into it and then you are lost or drowning, then you become a doing human, part of the mechanism, so whilst ever that restlessness is up-thrusting, you’re ON!

So, this restlessness that washes over me, and maybe you too, is what keeps us from sinking too deeply into our human lives. With all that Taurus and Cancer in my chart, that’s a real danger! It’s like Rumi says:

This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

In that way, this restlessness is an uninvited guest that kicks me out of my own home and back into awareness and consciousness.

After two weeks away, in a different space, a different Β routine and different daily options, I spent yesterday unpacking, cleaning, washing and attending to all of those things that had been unattended to while I was gone. The plants needed watering, the surfaces were dusty and everything needed a bit of loving. There was a joy to these activities, as I felt my home come alive under my fingertips. When it was all done (or done enough – it’s never all done) I looked around and thought,Β I am so glad to be home.

26 comments

  1. The sign of a perfect break is when you can’t wait to go and then you are so happy to be home again! I can see why you needed to write to us this morning before working on your assignments. I love what your Mother said to you, I think I would really like her. I went to school all 12 years in the same little place with my same little chums, give or take a very few that moved away or were late comers. It is a special little pocket of stability that helps you when times bring the unexpected guest over the threshold. Good job, Sara, have a great week. xx

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    • Thanks Ardys, I think you would like my mum too πŸ™‚ Even though she would get very restless sometimes too (being a sagittarius!) she stayed in the same spot to raise us. We would often come home to a completely rearranged house though – bedrooms and everything :). A mother has to do what a mother has to do. Thanks for being such a lovely commenter Ardys, I really appreciate it. Have yourself a good week too!

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  2. Sometimes a change is all we need from the daily grind of routine.. and I am sure your home was so pleased to feel your special magic touch again Sara also.. πŸ™‚
    Enjoy your home.. Savour its walls, the love of family, and the presence even of routine..
    In love and Gratitude for sharing your thoughts Sara..
    Good luck with your assignments.. and sending you well wishes my friend..
    love Sue ❀

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  3. I’ve got restlessness built into my DNA – it’s always been with me! Because on the stability / freedom spectrum I’ve always chased freedom. I will say that age has slowed me down to appreciate the stability, and marrying a double cancer definitely helps in our home life.

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    • Yesss…that double cancer will keep you home 😊 I have a very frisky rising and Lilith in Aries which I think makes me very restless if my personal needs are not being met in a particular situation. They are not particularly subtle either 😊 this adulting thing is difficult sometimes!

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  4. You remind me of Juliet Binoche from Chocolat. I on the other hand become so stagnate. That is something I must investigate. In my early 20’s I was invited to go with some very nice friends to India and in the end I did not go for a few reasons. My dad was sick, my mum thought I’d get murdered and my best friend couldn’t organise his funds. This surely would of ignited the travel bug. Instead I moved to Newtown, Sydney and lived there for almost a decade.

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    • Juliet Binoche?!! That’s the best compliment I’ve had in ages πŸ™‚ Oh right, her gypsy spirit! Can I just clarify that when I move, I don’t necessarily move that far – from suburb to suburb or city to city, and even my biggest moves have been within the state. And…I’ve been in the same place for 13 years now OMG. I am not really a traveller either, although I am looking forward to the time when I travel further afield. And hey, Newtown has so much variety you don’t need to travel – unless you want to of course πŸ™‚ Thanks for commenting Zena ❀

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  5. Sara, thank you for popping in. I think I’ve been restless all my life. Mine is a mental restlessness, and it seems to me restlessness is a disguise intensity wears. I’m happy that you’re glad to be home.

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    • ‘restlessness is a disguise intensity wears’. I love it. I know so many wise people πŸ™‚ I am mentally restless as well, but all of the mental work I do these days pretty much wears me out! I guess that’s why I enjoy writing and studying so much, because my mind is a hooligan if I don’t properly occupy it :). Thanks David, always lovely to hear from you <3.

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  6. I rarely feel restless. Last time I can remember was over a recent vacation. Of until then I had wished I had some free time. But with the free time I felt restless. At least it helped me to appreciate my busy life.

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    • Hi Georgia, I know that feeling well – kind of like when you finish a big project, and then there is nothing to take its place. I get that too, kind of like a mental restlessness of a brain that is used to being engaged, and is now let off the chain to freewheel, and finds that it does not like it πŸ™‚

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  7. Dear Sara, reading this, for a second spacious time, brought bright blessings of affirmation for this weeks kick or gentle insistent nudge into awareness and consciousness. I watched Goldstone (indigenous director Ivan Sen – sequel to Mystery Road…have you seen it? = great!)… and any images of the Australian Outback, Centre, North – particularly in this wintery month send my fingers taptaptaping looking for flights to Darwin.

    More significantly it kicks a jolt of ache for deep connection to country – one which I sometimes imagine can only be experienced up north, over west, some-where-else!

    However, realities of $ mean that home is my adventuring. So some edgy days were soothed by a long walkabout locally and our weekly Nature Immersion Meditation session of Friday – such a awakening to truth for my soul – where the gentle voice of awareness spoke of the possibities of right here – in a nearby patch of bush, with ancient rock, song and silence. So I have ‘booked myself in’ for an overnight sleep out, near to home, but far away, on the coming full moon. Some stillness and some movement. Awareness and consciousness in action.

    Ahh the rounds of restlessness…I embrace with heart and head and, on occasion a roving eye on cheap flights!

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    • Dear Kate,
      So you and I have the restlessness in common as well! I always have the feeling that that my connection to country is ‘somewhere’ else as well – not north and north west, but elsewhere. Which may or may not be true, but the facts are – we are where we are for a reason. I love the hinterland river towns like Bellingen, Bangalow and Maleny, and one day I will live somewhere like that, but at the moment, here is perfect too. Meanwhile, sleepovers and bushwalks are perfect πŸ™‚

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