Go with the flow, even when it hurts.

14955975_725152030971156_6863297240936344515_n

Some weeks are a little more challenging than others – have you noticed that my friends? Of course you have, silly me :). Some weeks are like medicine and some are like wine, and that’s just the way it is on Earth School. So, if last week was like wine, then this week was definitely of the medicine variety. The medicine that the Universe doses me up with most frequently is that of the go with the flow, even when it hurts variety. And I am so much better at it after all my medicine, that I can now see what is going on while it is happening:  okaayy, this one of those times where you want me to surrender to what is happening and let go of any ideas that I may have had about the whole thing. Rigghhht. That doesn’t mean I necessarily enjoy the experience, but rather, I have learned to turn the dial up on curiosity and interest and down on fear and resentment, because I have learned that things are more fun and tend to work out better when the Universe is driving.

I can actually pinpoint the moment where my week went awry – about 5 minutes after I pressed publish on last week’s post. I was sitting there, dare I say a little smugly, basking in the glow of a productive and happy week and looking forward to a whole day alone, studying and working, when the phone rang. It was my mother, wanting to know where I was. I had gotten the days mixed up. For some reason, I had swapped the days around in my head, making the day with my mum the Thursday and my study/work day on Wednesday. I had even booked the car in to get new tyres on the Thursday in the knowledge that mum would be able to drop me off and pick me up. Now, this triple Taurus girl is not at her best when plans change suddenly. I try hard, but really, a sudden 180 degree turn in events does not become me. My mother will tell you that as a child, I had to have a week’s notice of any plan changes or I would melt down. No, I am not on the spectrum, and yes, as I’ve gotten older and worked on my flexibility, my adjustment time has decreased markedly. Still, as I was on the phone to my mother, I could feel my internal gears grinding and crunching, and my inner resistance flaring up. That decided it – I’ll be there in half an hour, I told her. That’s how you get flexible – by stretching yourself. That’s how it works on the yoga mat, and that’s how it works in the world too.

995529_672189486125917_600935230_n

So, we had a gorgeous day together, my lovely mama and me. We went kayaking up the gorgeous Nambucca River (I wish I had photos to show you – next time), where the water was so clear we could see the sandy bottom and the schools of bream and garfish. We saw jewel-like azure blue kingfishers, flashing from branch to water and back again, and we parked our crafts on a sandy river elbow and went swimming in the slightly salty crystal water when we got too hot. A family friend who I have known all my life came to visit from hours away, and we talked and ate and drank numerous cuppas. It was a good day, and well worth the effort.

The next two days my daughter was sick (with the flu that I now have), so I had to work and study around her. On the Friday when I work in kindergarten, I was able to call on our beautiful friend Harry, another lifelong friend, and he looked after her until the Bear could come home from work to take over. What, I wondered aloud to my son as we drove off, do parents do when their children are sick and they don’t have someone devoted to supporting them as I do? I had rescheduled our much needed appointment for new tyres for this day as well, which meant I needed to call on another friend to meet me at the tyre place, which is located way out of town in the industrial area, drop me off at work and then meet me after work to take me back to pick up the car. Fortunately Mimi, our family friend who was staying with Mum, was more than happy to help me out. As I strapped myself into her car, she said how happy she was that she could be useful, to be of service. That is something that motherhood has taught me – that asking for help not only helps you, but it helps your helper as well. People want to help, but don’t always know the best way, and asking shows them how.

10434312_628204633936123_2270491548349901711_n

The next day, Saturday, the Bear and our daughter went off to a local market to buy some plants and some new chickens. We have four chickens, but they are getting old, and the Bear has built a brand new chicken pen for this very moment. I thought I would catch up on some work and study while they were gone, but I ended up spending most of the day swapping one computer over to another, which is like a digital house move. You know you are moving to better premises, but the process of clearing everything out, packing it up, moving it and setting up your new house is frustrating and time consuming. Anyway, it was done.

I woke up early on Sunday morning and did the copywriting work that I thought I was going to do the day before. That was lucky, because at 7:30 the kids came over to tell me that the roof had sprung a mysterious leak and dripped directly onto our modem, filling it with water and killing it. I had been working offline so hadn’t noticed that the Internet had stopped working. I mean, come on, it hadn’t even been raining. What were the odds? We had two choices – order a modem on a plan from our provider, and wait 5 days for it to arrive, or get in the car and drive to our nearest Telstra shop and buy one off the shelf. Five days without internet is not really an option for us as I study and work from home, so in the car we got. The buying bit was fine – hooking it up was a nightmare, and after three phone calls to our phone company who kept saying it was fine from their end, but not from ours, it took about 36 hours for everything to come online again :/. Anyway, it was done.

seasons_millman

My final challenge for the week was Halloween. My kids had been silent on the subject and I had naively hoped that this year I could get away without participating in it. And then, My lovely new Canadian neighbour messaged me and says that she wants to organise a little community trick or treat run so that she can introduce her children to the fun of Halloween – can I have a little treat for them and would my daughter like to come along? Sigh. No really, I don’t think you heard me. SIGH. I get it from her perspective, I really do. One of my favourite people in this world is my American friend Shana, and when she lived close by me, she also wanted to recreate Halloween for her children, so I have been prepped. I am sure that if I lived overseas in a non-Christian country for instance, I would still want to bring Christmas along with me, have a feast and invite people around, even if it wasn’t the tradition in that country. But from my perspective, it makes me crazy that we in the Southern Hemisphere celebrate these co-opted seasonal festivals with no knowledge of their history, and at the wrong time of year! So Halloween is an Autumn harvest festival with day of the dead overtones – and it’s Spring here. Easter is a Spring festival celebrated in our Autumn, and really, Christmas is a mid-winter festival held in the middle of our summer. It does my head in, and don’t even start me on the Christian co-opting of pagan festivals ffs. I feel that I am forced culturally to participate in meaningless celebrations that seem to do nothing but force feed kids lollies and chocolate, and if I let it, it makes me mad as hell and resentful as well. However. It’s not about me. Another thing I have learned from motherhood. So, I do the whole Easter egg hunt/Easter bunny thing, I do Santa Claus and if I can’t avoid it, I do Halloween, because my desire to let my children experience life separate from my own prejudices is stronger than those prejudices. I wish my need to understand and have everything make sense was less, but I just can’t help the way I am – these upside down festivals make me crazy. And hey, I can tell you that my kids had a great time trick or treating and came home with enough lollies to feed a small army:

14915503_10210061478325058_1772289826707335368_n
My neighbours are on the right, and my children are on the left 🙂

So friends, how do you feel about upside down festivals? What medicine does the Universe dose you up with the most? What has parenthood taught you? Has your week been medicine or wine?

19 comments

  1. Not all of us American derivatives like Halloween, just so you know. I’m not much into Christmas or other imperative gift giving or lolly-giving celebrations either. Like you, I dabbled enough so that I don’t think our daughter felt deprived. She even got to trick or treat in America while she was still young enough to enjoy it. At 28 she now HATES fancy dress for any occasion. It has been a couple of medicine weeks for me, but with wine-thirty thrown in to aid in recovery! There was the computer debacle, the shingles, and ramping up of pain in my groin that I have been wrestling with ‘curing’ for over a year. Finally this week, I saw a physio and after three days of appropriate stretches and one little exercise, I am pain free. SIGH. That which we resist, persists. Sooo sorry you have the flu. And yes, learning that asking for help is something you do for others as well as yourself is a huge Life lesson. Big hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, I am sure Ardys, thank you for reminding me that not all Americans (or Canadians for that matter) care about Halloween :).
      You poor thing, your weeks have been far too much medicine and not enough wine! I’m so glad that you were able to finally find a simple solution for your groin problem. Stretches are wonderful, I would be a cripple if I didn’t stretch regularly! Enjoy your Sunday xo

      Liked by 1 person

  2. My week has been a bit like…medicinal wine? I was in Hawaii this past weekend for a friend’s wedding and came back on Tuesday night. Heading into work Wednesday morning was rather brutal and I spent most of it acting like a zombie. I ended the week dealing with some lingering, unresolved emotions related to work so that wasn’t very fun, but I did get to catch up with some faraway friends yesterday so I was reminded that even if there are people I don’t get along with right now, there are still those who love and understand me, just not in my immediate vicinity.
    I’ve never liked Halloween much, even as a kid. Thanksgiving and Christmas I do enjoy, although I feel that in the U.S. we’ve lost much of the original spirit of these holidays. It’s become more an occasion for rampant consumerism and peer pressure to happen, which is a shame. But I suppose we just have to ignore those things and find meaning in them for ourselves, right? Wishing you a more wine-filled week ahead. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Lillian, and so lovely to see you here ❤️ Your week was certainly mixed – highs and lows- but I must say, going to Hawaii sounds wonderful and exotic. Is it as beautiful as everyone says?

      Liked by 1 person

      • It absolutely is and though I’m biased towards Maui, all the islands have their own unique beauty (though I’ve only been to two of them at this point). Hope you get a chance to visit! Definitely a place to put down on your bucket list. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Not to lounge in your challenges, but I so love your lovely world, Sara. I almost (almost) don’t need photos of kayak trip, I’ve envisioned it all so many times. Some day, I hope to see it in person! Glad things have turned around a bit, or, that you are so capable of making it shine. Beautiful! xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ai, I know they don’t really count as challenges, I just like to observe how I respond to things that don’t go as I think they should, and what happens when I follow it through instead of resisting, or if I do resist, how soon I can let go. It’s all a bit mundane really, but I am so glad you like to visit me virtually :). Love to you Dawn, I hope you’re well xo

      Liked by 1 person

      • I totally get your point, but want to be sure that you know: I never said they weren’t challenges. I believe it’s all relative. Challenges shift and change, day by day, and what is challenging for one person, may not be for another… but is no less a challenge. 😉 That said, I just love your world… understanding that if I were there, it wouldn’t be any more perfect than mine is; the view would just be different! xox

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes – the medicine week/s were merge and mixture of complete rest, and blackness, and healing, and light. Not a sequential simple step to step, but a trust in a more complex unknowable – yet deeply known – journey. A few wine moments this week 🙂

        Like

  4. Sara, I like your idea of everyday non-resistance. It seems to me a good practice, but I think it is extremely hard for most modern hard-driving, got-a schedule-to-keep people. I try to simplify my life in a way that my wife thinks is a ridiculous luxury that most people don’t have. I guard myself against complications in my life by scheduling only one errand or responsibility other than my writing each day. Diana accomplishes, it seems to me, about thirty things a day, and I don’t see how she does it. But I was talking to my brother who lives in Virginia, and he says he has the same one-thing-a-day rule. It may be, as you are probably thinking, that I have the luxury of doing just one thing a day because Diana is doing those thirty things, and you make a good point. But maybe Diana would be better off to simplify her life a bit too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • David, I think you are wise, but I would, because I am also wired towards simplicity, as is my mother. I am a pacer, not a crammer- having too much to do makes me stressed and overwhelmed. However, I know people like Diana, almost all women, and busyness is their thing – they’re wired like that. I have a friend, who I watch in awe at how much she takes on and gets through. I don’t envy her, but she seems to like it. I usually assume that if a grown ass person conducts their lives in a certain way they like it 😊 I am aware of the problematic nature of that assumption, but still, they could do less and the world would not stop, right? 😊

      Like

  5. To a fellow Taurean, I fully understand… I dislike sudden changes .. But it seems the Universe is testing us…
    What a great day out you had with your Mum.. and what a fantastic way in which to spend it..
    Sorry to hear your little one was not well, and I hope you too have now recovered..
    Yes we are often plunged into unexpected changes.. I am learning to trust like you that all things come to test us. our patience and our will power..

    You asked how our week had been was it wine or medicine.. A little of both..

    One my weekend was beautiful with our granddaughter..
    Then I picked back up my knitting project and happily knitted by lamp light in the evenings.. Pure Wine 🙂
    Then I picked it up again and took it by the window when the Sun shone in.. As I was sewing it all together..
    And it was then the medicine hit..
    I saw that the wool colour shade had changed when I had changed a ball of wool on the front panel didn’t match.. How come.. the whole yarn was one batch.. in one bag.. Shock horror.. matching the rest of the wool I saw the rest was the same colour…
    Mind had to work overtime.. I did lots of unpicking and pulling back,, And had to end up matching the yoke of both fronts with the same wool.. grrrr…

    Then yesterday.. the car broke down… Major repairs.. the good thing was we were not picking up our granddaughter.. it wasn’t raining.. And after the break down service came the garage mended it..

    Today my daughter rings she was in an car accident.. thankfully she is ok not hurt.. though her car is totalled..

    Blessings all around.. And it makes you realise the many days of WINE we take for granted..

    And I am going with the flow… and giving thanks for small mercies..

    Love and Hugs dear Sara..
    big Hugs
    Sue ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Sue – a fellow Taurus 🙂 It has been a strange week with all kinds of flare ups and trouble, big and small. And now Trump, just to cap it all off. What on Earth can we make of it? The Taurus way is to bring it back to the senses and the present moment – checking into the now, reminding ourselves that we are indeed ok despite all the chaos around us.
      A knitting mishap – I don’t knit but I crochet and I feel your pain! SO much work to be undone. Car troubles and an accident thrown in, wow. Medicine and wine for sure. I hope you and your daughter are faring a little better today xo

      Liked by 1 person

      • My daughter is a very positive person and is thankful the only thing written off is her car.. And sees it as a push to get a new one.. Something she and her partner had hummed and arrrhed about for a while.. While it throws them into a little chaos for a while.. she sees it as being the catalyst for making her change..
        A little like Trump.. 🙂 it is all part of the Changes set to happen.. And because we are within its midst we can not as yet see the outcomes.. Yet when we look back in years from now. The world no doubt will have woken up some more.. As more of them wake up to the realities of the world..
        My knitting is a spec within the scheme of things.. When I think of those who have lost everything who have given everything to march and sail to new countries to escape persecution and war.. It puts our lives back into perspective .. 🙂 So I most grateful of my medicine was sweet in comparison.. l0l 🙂 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s