It’s been three weeks since I finished the most intense, stressful, interesting and exhausting work project I have ever been involved in. The job came out of the blue, with a single phone call, and disappeared just as suddenly, like a storm that blows up on a clear-skied day, blows a few trees down and vanishes, back into the clear blue sky.
I’m taking it as (yet) another lesson in agility and resilience, letting it all flow, and learning how to rest in that liminal space between one thing and another. Historically, this has not been my strong point – as a Scorpio friend of mine said not too long ago, everything I have let go of has claw marks on it. It’s hard for we fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius) to go with change not of our making, but it is us who needs to learn the lesson the most, and we keep getting it until we do.
Actually, I’m pretty proud of how I’m managing this transition. Traditionally I’m not great with being in-between. I like to be engaged and working on some kind of project, and finding new work in these parts is really difficult. I have every reason to be worried about putting food on the table, especially since the Bear is in between jobs as well. So sure, I could be panicking right now, but I’m not.
I’m definitely looking for work, but I’m also doing the work of the in-between, claiming back the pieces of my life which I had to drop unceremoniously when I took up the job opportunity 8 months ago.
I’ve started back at university, after taking two sessions off. I’m just studying the one subject, photography, which is a total trip for me. It’s creative, with not an essay in sight. We study photographers and attempt to imitate their styles, learning through immersion. Don’t worry, I resisted, in good fixed sign fashion, and then…I just let it go. It is what it is (and it’s a core subject, so too bad).
I’ve been fine-tuning my physical self – by the time my contract finished, my back was in a bad way. I had been doing yoga most mornings, but it didn’t seem to make a difference, and after a week or so, I came to the conclusion that asana was actually irritating the whole thing. So I dialled yoga down to every second day, and added a daily 30 minute evening walk. With the help of my Shakti Mat and an awesome local massage therapist – voila – no pain at all, and a very happy dog 🙂 .
I put my space back in order – my beautiful office and yoga room was looking very neglected, with the most attention it got being an occasional vacuum. There is something incredibly therapeutic about physically cleaning the space which you identify as yours alone. That space represents you, and you can do a lot of work on yourself just by dusting, cleaning windows, de-cluttering and moving things around. Yep, it’s one giant metaphor.
I’m cooking again! Seriously, I hardly cooked a thing when I was working, because the Bear totally stepped in took all of that work over (bless him!). It’s lovely to enjoy cooking again. We’ve got heaps of silverbeet in the garden, so I’ve been making spinach pies and pasties, and last night I made a delicious spinach and ricotta canneloni dish. We’ve had the most amazing broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, kale, beets and carrots in the garden as well, thanks again to the Bear, who has created a vegetable garden that is both beautiful and functional (amazing what you can do when you can tend to your own place instead of someone else’s!).
I am currently obsessed with crocheted mandalas and dream catchers – It’s been years since I’ve crocheted and OMG the internet is a crocheter’s dream 🙂 Gosh I remember being limited to some crocheting book from the 1970s. No longer! Crocheting these mandalas is meditative, soothing and creative – and I get something beautiful to hang up or give away. Plus, so much of what I create is invisible – you can’t hold writing online and for the media in your hand. It’s good for my mental health to create something solid.
I’m also taking this time to re-focus on my path, to check I’m still on track, and clarify what it is I really want, what I’m good at, what I enjoy, and how best to curate all of that into meaningful work. After putting it all down on paper: my skills (technical and personal), my interests, and a list of inspirational people and their podcasts and books, creative juices started to flow, and ideas began to come. I’m cooking up something now, which some of you might be interested in…more on that later <3.
Have a beautiful week,